Why people don’t like to fail and how to fail without losing motivation?
We often see failure as an enemy.
We hate failure and don’t take a chance towards success. However, we have also been told that we have to face failure to get success. But how many failures do we need to face to finally see the success?
In this podcast, we are going to talk about why don’t we like to take a chance and what to do to take a chance. Also, why do we get demotivated by failure and what to do instead?
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How quickly you can be good at what you do?
Well, recently I started learning to draw cartoons. I wanted to learn it for a long time but didn’t have any clue where to start from. I was looking at others’ cartoons and wondered how they do it effortlessly. Part of the reason is I was way below average at drawing in my school.
I had a fear of drawing.
I am not too sure how it happened but it just happened. I never dared to draw again. But somehow I started taking interest in the area of drawing cartoons probably for the last 3-4 years as far as I remember.
But something interesting occurred to me 6 months ago.
I decided to hire a teacher to teach me how to draw cartoons. Her name is Alison Beere. She helped me learn how to draw cartoons in just a few weeks. There are many things she taught me about cartoons but I found one thing interesting. She asked me to fail spectacularly. Now, I felt this odd. But it helped me a lot.
We hate failure.
It’s because we have been programmed to succeed no matter what. In our school, we were aiming for success but in the world that we live in, we have to allow ourselves to fail. The main reason why we hate to fail is not something very common to us.
Most people never bother to take a chance and get demotivated very soon.
If You too are intimidated or are afraid of taking a chance and get demotivated by failure, you are going to like this podcast. You probably would like to share with others too.
In this podcast, we are going to talk about why don’t we like to take a chance and why we should do it. Also, we are going to discuss why we get demotivated by failure and what to do instead. Let’s dive in, we shall we
There is a famous Hollywood star who had to go to prison?
This Hollywood star is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold Schwarzenegger was born in Austria. He always wanted to be rich and famous. He completely denied his father’s wish to be a policeman and also his mother’s wish to be a businessman. He also knew that to be super-rich and famous is not an easy task. He knew he had to do things that most people can’t think of doing.
Arnold wanted to be the best bodybuilder since the age of 14.
He even challenged people in his gym. He once challenged someone to do squats and Arnold won with 55 sets in just one go. But he could not walk well for a week then after. He was working hard to be the best.
Arnold had to join the Austrian army at the age of 18.
Because every citizen of Austria needed to serve in the army for one year. He was supposed to serve for a year without taking a break. If a person takes a break, he has to spend a week in military prison.
But Arnold wanted to take the risk of going to prison. Why?
He disappeared for a week during his military service. He wanted to participate in the Mr Europe bodybuilding competition. He escaped for a week to participate in the bodybuilding competition even if he was aware he had to spend a week in military prison. He not only participated but also won the competition.
Everybody has to sacrifice to get what they want.
The world gives you what you give to the world. Most people just dream to do great things but are never ready to pay the price to get it. Arnold Schwarzenegger was ready to spend time in prison to participate in the competition.
He paid the price to get the prize.
Even his name was weird to pronounce, he not only became an iconic bodybuilding champion but he also became a big Hollywood star. He was spending more time and practising a lot harder than anyone else in the gym. Arnold went the extra mile when he signed up for the movie ‘The Terminator. He was practising shooting range for hours. He even mastered stripping and re-assembling the weapon so elegantly that he could do it without looking at it.
We have to be ready to pay the price to get the result that we want. But many times, we get demotivated even after a few trials. Why does it happen and what to do about it? Let’s find out in the second part.
My daughter was playing a game of mathematic puzzles on my mobile.
She started well and moved ahead. Till about 5th level, she was happy because she could finish all levels easily with minor difficulties at each level. But afterwards, she became a bit frustrated as she moved on to the next level. When she crossed the 10th level, she wanted to give up.
This is usually happening with us too when we play games.
The games are designed and engineered scientifically. They follow one principle that keeps us playing for hours without making us feel bored or frustrated. A similar rule we need to apply. We feel demotivated because we don’t want to take the risk.
We hate uncertainty.
This is one of the strongest reasons why we don’t want to begin. When we are unsure about success, we don’t want to begin. As we discussed earlier, Arnold Schwarzenegger was ready to face imprisonment whether he had won the bodybuilding championship or not. He was uncertain about his victory yet he took the risk.
This is what we all lack.
This uncertainty holds us back. We can’t be fully committed if we are not certain about the success. We hate to fail. To increase the chance of success, we have to increase the chance of failure. Collect more losses. I have been writing articles for the last 8-10 years. I wrote hundreds of articles. I can write articles a lot quicker and a lot better than 5 years ago. But to write a good article, I wrote countless bad articles. To be good at something, we must be good at failing badly at many things. We need to develop the habit of facing uncertainty. Losses are required for wins.
We need to understand the ‘sweet spot of failure’.
This term was coined by a famous author called ‘Dan Coyle’. An author called Dan Coyle said something interesting in one of his books called ‘Talent Code’. Dan said that people don’t grow fast if they succeed 80% of the time in their tasks. However, if they fail more than 50% of the time, they feel demotivated and give up. The Sweet Spot of Failure for sustainable and fast growth is between succeeding between 50%-80%.
So, what to do to fail without losing motivation?
Be prepared to fail between 50%-80% of the time at your work. If you expect to win all the time, it will never happen. If you win 100% of the time, you are either not growing or growing too slowly. And if you fail at your tasks more than 50% of the time, you need to re-align your goals and the success you wish you achieve.
Know what you have to sacrifice and the price you have to pay. You need to be ready to pay in terms of action and failure. Find out what is your uncertainty and aim for a success rate of 50-80%.
Read next: You need to slow things down to make your journey to your goals smoother.
Find out, Why going slow is good even if the others around you going fast?
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