Last week, we talked about what is victim virus. (If you have missed the previous article, I strongly recommend you to Read ‘The Victim Virus-1’ by clicking HERE) Many people have seen themselves in my previous article.
You have probably also realized that you must take some actions to eliminate this virus.
As promised, I am continuing on how to deal with this virus and how to you can help yourself to get rid of this virus.
Many don’t but some do. But it requires a shock to interrupt their attitude to depend on others.
This is the beginning of the journey of ‘Self-Improvement’. Now, this word has been overused and it sounds really simple like you can go to the “self-help” section in your library and book-store.
Find one of the books (probably the self-acclaimed best-seller) and read it and everything will change!!!
Booom!!! Easy, isn’t it?
Now, the biggest self-destructing belief that a book will change your life is a victim trap.
If you believe this, then you are following the victim’s path. You are actually looking to someone or something outside of yourself to fix the situation.
And if it doesn’t work, you also have someone or something to blame.
It’s never ending circle of self-deception.
The truth is that you can improve your life with the help of books. They can help you to change your life.
The condition is that the change comes from YOU, not from the book.
The victim trap is in believing that the book will fix the problem.
The way of success is knowing that the change for the better has to come from inside your own head, but the book can provide you with some raw material (information, techniques, tips etc.) to help you make the change happen.
The difference is in the focus. Victims are extremely focused. Successful people are internally focused. They have forced their focus onto exactly what they want.
They have committed themselves to learning more and better ways to persuade others to help them get more of what they want more often.
They have unshakable goal that they focus on all the time. That is what separates the truly successful achiever and average performer.
Yes, victims are dependent on others for approval, decisions and acceptance. They react to others.
But what does it really mean to be dependent? Being dependent is a sad state of life.
Definition: “the state of being determined, influenced or controlled by someone else.” I admit that everyone is dependent on everyone else to a certain extent.
Otherwise our economy, our world, would not work.
But that is not what I am talking about. In the personal lives of victims, the word “dependent” takes on a significant and most likely destructive meaning.
A change in direction of thought and action must take place.
Everything begins on the inside and then flows to the world outside your mind.
Previously or until now, it all flowed in the opposite direction.
It used to be that other people made decisions, and it all flowed into the victim’s brain, and that’s the way life is.
WRONG!!!!Reverse it. TAKE CONTROL.. Begin to see and realize that you have a brain that is totally capable of making good, strong and right decisions.
Realize that you are in control of your life and that decisions flow FROM YOU, not to you.
Victims Need to Change The Word
You can no longer call yourself a victim once you realize you have complete control of your own life.
You must use a different word.
Words are enormously powerful. Words are the key to massive personal change.
There is an entire field of study called Transformational Grammar/Transformational Vocabulary. The entire basis of this field of study is the fact that words label our experience.
If you do not use the word, you cannot feel the feeling.
And of course, the opposite is true-If you use the word, you feel the feeling.
As an example, I might ask you about your failure at any task and you answer, “It overwhelming! I can’t do things right.”
Well then, you will feel overwhelmed.
But if instead you say, “It’s another learning opportunity!
To get my desired outcome, I must do things differently”. Then you have totally different physiological experience (feelings).
You will feel energized. The situation (failure) is the same, but the way you choose to label the experience with words makes all the difference in how you feel.
You choose how you feel.
Other people don’t have the power to make you feel anything unless you give them that power.
Choose Your Words Carefully. They matter.
To your enlightened success,
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