Most people learned to be helpless. Did you too?

Martin Seligman is known for discovering learned helplessness during an experiment he was performing on dogs. He would ring a bell, and give a light shock to a dog. After a while, the dog would react to the bell as if he’d already been shocked. The interesting part of the study came when Seligman gave the dogs a chance to avoid being shocked. Here’s what he did:helplessness

He would put a dog in a large crate divided by a small fence that t
hey could easily jump over. What the dogs didn’t know was that only one side of the crate would give a shock, and the other side would not. The dogs didn’t even attempt to jump over the fence because learned helplessness made them believe the shock was unavoidable.

He then tried the test with dogs that had not previously received a shock. When those dogs heard the bell, they quickly learned that they could avoid the shock by jumping over to the other side of the fence.

Have you ever heard how to chain an elephant?elephant helpless

As a baby, if you chain an elephant, the elephant will learn that it cannot break free from the chain. It will also be uncomfortable if they try. So, the elephant stops trying and accepts the fact that it cannot break free from the chain.

Even once the elephant becomes an adult, they will not attempt to break the chain, even though it would be very easy for them to do so. They have conditioned their mind to believe they can’t break free from the chain, so they don’t even try.

Most people learned to be helpless. Did you too?

You are asked to set a vision and goal higher enough so that they excite you. You are constantly thinking to achieve more results, get more things done and make more profit no matter what.

Things can go well but they don’t when you begin working on what’s important to you.

When dealing with coaching clients, one of the biggest challenges is that people want help until the time to help themselves. The more help they get, the more help they want.

Exactly, most people have learned to be helpless.

We have all the resources that we need in order to grow in our life and business. We need support from outside and when we get that support, we give up.

Most people have been programmed to stay helpless. 

Most people are like the elephant and the dog.

They’ve conditioned themselves with limiting beliefs of what they think they’re able to achieve, and therefore often never even attempt to achieve anything, as they’ve trained their mind to believe they aren’t capable. They assume that it would be uncomfortable to even attempt, due to the risk of failure. They accept a lifelong fate of mediocrity, to avoid the possibility of some temporary discomfort trying to achieve something that again, they haven’t even allowed themselves to believe they can achieve.

There are a lot of opportunities around but they can’t see them right in front of their eyes. 

Here’s the solution:

The beliefs we have in our mind are only beliefs. Whatever information and beliefs you have about anything is given to you and accepted by you. Remember that we knew nothing when we were born. Those information and beliefs are probably given by the wrong person. Probably, you believed in a certain way due to the bad environment too.

You can create the new beliefs. You can CHOOSE to believe in a different way.

It’s only a matter of choice. People think it’s difficult but it’s not.

People make things complicated but in reality, they are too simple to do.

For example, in order to sell your product or service, what do you need to do?

The answer is, ‘JUST SELL!!!’.

All the other excuses such as, “I can’t sell. People will not like me and my product. What if I can not persuade? What if they say No?”, are irrelevant when you choose to believe that you can sell and you need to sell.

Another example, to apply and to get a job somewhere, what do you need to do?

Again, the answer is simple, “JUST APPLY FOR THE JOB AND FACE THE INTERVIEW!”

People make things complicated by being helpless. All you need to do is to take required actions that are necessary in order to get what you want.

Lastly, one of my mentors told me years ago, “Nobody is coming to help you. Help yourself first and you will get help from others because people help only to those who help themselves.”

So, “Are you choosing to help yourself?”

 

– Mayur Bardolia

Results Coach/ Author

Copyright © Mayur Bardolia 2017

All Rights Reserved


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