Here’s what you should do when you want to gain confidence…

Perhaps one of the most common questions I have been asked is, “How can I gain confidence?”

We have always been told to step out of our comfort zone. In fact, stepping out of comfort zone is not that easy thing to do.

When I help my clients to design the strategy to increase their performance and profit, I see them hesitating to do new things.

People are stuck in their mind and looking for some dose of confidence.

There is no medicine available in the market that increases your confidence.

What I know is that confidence comes from within.

As far as I am aware, confidence comes from experience. 

You need the experience to become confident. You don’t have to be competent or an expert or pro at anything to be confident.

Confidence is a state of mind. It’s not a result. 

It means that you actually have to do stuff to gain confidence. It doesn’t matter if you fail or succeed, the exposure is what is important.

Exposure

 

Not So Secret #1: Experience attracts Confidence

Don’t Jump Into the Deep End

My problem with those that just tell everyone to “just be confident” is they usually say it like it’s so easy. Like you should just be able to do anything and everything at a snap of the finger. By hearing those three magic words – “JUST BE CONFIDENT” – you’re supposed to be able to be invincible.

Wrong.

If you get forced into doing something you’re not really prepared for, you will be scared as hell. And that’s fine. If you do it, you’ll feel like you’re invincible…but only temporarily.

What you should do instead is take baby steps.

I know. A lot of you just want to go from zero to 100 right away. But don’t mess with what works.

You learned how to walk by crawling. You learned mathematics by counting first. You learn to people by first learning how to talk to them (or get comfortable around them). 

You will learn how to convince customers by talking to first few customers.

You will learn how to get more things done by beginning to do something.

Most people can’t be productive because they never start doing anything. 

Not So Secret #2: You are not a super-human. Confidence is a long-term project.

What I’m Saying

It’s good to have big goals of what you ultimately want to be confident in. Keep that in the back of your mind. But don’t make it your top priority right now.

You should break things down and build yourself up. Every high-result achiever started from few small achievements.

Aim high but start from the ground because that’s where the foundation is constructed.

Think of gaining confidence like a tree growing or building a skyscraper. What really gives a tree or a 100-foot skyscraper strength is not how high it touches the sky, but how strong the roots and foundation are.

People avoid working on bigger goals because they don’t see the value of doing small things every single day consistently and repeatedly.

People become lazy and give an excuse of poor confidence because they don’t want to take the few important baby steps.

Confidence has strength but you can’t build strength overnight. 

Ask anyone who is a bodybuilder and you will understand the value of doing small things continuously for months and years.

I mean this.

If you want to get better at making presentations but have social anxiety, don’t force yourself to present in front of a large audience.

Not So Secret #3: Start small. Build your way up.

It’s quite similar to what we discussed above. As you make small successes, your brain starts to change. It starts to tell you that you can do this. Not only that, but you get repetition and more experience pushing yourself past barriers as you build yourself up.

In no time, you’ll get to where you want to be and you will be mentally strong and super confident. But only if you start small.

I see it too often where someone wants X right away and the only X. They don’t understand that it takes a lot of hard work to be great.

They don’t see the hard work someone else has put in to be where they are. There are a lot of naive people that just believe people are great and it didn’t take hard work or building a strong foundation. So they try to take shortcuts.

Not So Secret #4: Taking shortcuts never work.

Nothing to say more. There is no shortcut to achieving big.

A Question for You

What do you want to be confident in? What’s holding you back? Can you break whatever it is down into smaller parts and build your way up?

You’re not alone. Whatever you want to do, someone has already done. If someone else can do it, so can you.

So let’s do this

 

– Mayur Bardolia

Results Coach/ Author

Copyright © Mayur Bardolia 2017

All Rights Reserved


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